As I sit here, trapped, I let my thoughts wander. My thoughts take me to another place where I'm free to imagine other realities that escape me. Why did she have to say such hurtful things? I didn't want to hurt anyone- all I ever wanted was to be free of pain. Unlike physical pain, which is fleeting and simple, I was afflicted by emotional pain that wrapped itself around me like a vine, choking the life out of an otherwise healthy tree. Although I suppose healthy is hard to define. As the saying goes, I'm like a swan swimming against a current-smooth on the surface, but turbulent beneath.
The day I got myself into trouble was like any other day. I had been watching her doodle on her book jacket absentmindedly, looking lovely. I'd been admiring her from afar, just imagining how silky her golden hair would feel between my fingers. I had been so full of hope that day. I can remember wearing that itchy turtleneck and the smell of my aftershave. We had no idea it was coming, it was so unexpected. Just one moment shared between us- that was all it took to change both of our lives forever.